The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasn't true. Justice Goldberg keeps up the hilarity right until the very end, even as he breaks the bad news to the farmers: they’re still in big trouble. ALL STAR COMEDIAN SHAWN CLOWNS ON FOX'S CRISTINA'S COURT...A MUST SEE!! The taxi driver will have a fun story to tell his family after his shift! “Is there something you want to say?” Judge Caprio asked the man. In the “Only in Rhode Island,” category, Caprio tells Reader’s Digest that everyone knows everyone in the tiny New England state, and sometimes it gets super awkward. David Rae (1724-1804) chose to be called Lord Eskgrove. Guilty as charged! Thanks for sharing! Turned out, the child was the result of a one-night stand. I raise a shaky hand to the hotel across the way, which does not have frosted or tinted windows, and the very large, naked man doing Zumba. The man claimed he’d meant to park for just a moment to go into a restaurant to bring his mother a glass of water (she was dehydrated, he explained). She covers life and style, popular culture, law, religion, health, fitness, yoga, entertaining and entertainment. “My client had stuck a joint in my up-do,” she realized. However, there are incidents inside the courtroom that are unexpectedly funny. Colleague: “The verdict will be tomorrow, and then I’ll be free to discuss everything and answer all your questions.”. Beware of Killer Whales. That shouldn’t be a problem, Funk thought, but still had to ask if the long-ago job would in any way impact her ability to be impartial with Funk representing the firm. “After an extreme close-up review of the record and excellent authorities, the court enters the following order.” So begins the opinion of Federal District Judge Paine in Noble v. Bradford Marine, a clear shout-out to the hilarious film, Wayne’s World. Olivia on March 07, 2017: I couldn't stop reading this was so funny I have given you everything we can. Once he has filled the cup to the indicated line: Me: “You can finish up, and then wash your hands and meet me in the courtroom.”. He’s presenting evidence that follows the strange rules of the FOTL. The temperature of the fluid is not body temperature, at least not a normal one. Throughout the week, he falls into the same routine: court in the morning and work in the afternoon. Bye!” I even make a point to wave goodbye and just go sit at my computer and begin working on something else. COURT STENOGRAPHERS. On the way to the jail, I turn to him. U.S. v. Causby. On Thursday, the penultimate day of the trial, he comes in. I will tell the jail staff that charges are pending, but he is to be held on PC of probation violation. He called himself “John Doe,” making it impossible for Sanford to call back. Voir dire, the process of jury selection, isn’t always “funny,” but here’s an exception. Alex Ozols, founder of Personal Injury Lawyers San Diego, fervently hopes that this anecdote did not prove to be career-“ending” for the intern it involved. For example, one time a guy came in for a hearing on a parking ticket. . George sued the surgeon and was awarded “the difference in value between a 100 percent good hand… and a hairy hand.”. Actually, these might just be the funniest lawyer jokes ever. Even of an old, sweet lady many would be happy to call grandma. Questions asked in a courtroom can be very revealing... especially in the South. 3 Funny Stories for Halloween ~ the Spirits of Halloween, The Graveyard Ghouls and the Halloween Masked Ball: Great to see you here. “Well, I know your boss, and he’s a real jerk,” the woman said sweetly. See more ideas about humor, lawyer jokes, lawyer humor. The delicious irony is that he wasn’t careful who he got the urine sample from. Here are some smart tips for fighting parking tickets. I became very familiar with the young man well before I ever met him. A young man named George had surgery to correct an ugly scar on his hand. Not even business casual. It amounted to quite a big scam. In front of the windows. She does not move and just repeats, “Letter,” every once in a while. “As she poured, the pitcher’s lid fell off… sending water everywhere.” At least the judge had a good laugh! This doesn’t always go over so well with judges, so Reischer tried to convince the man to at least wear a tie. This means that it does happen, however rarely, that the justices are forced to preside over bullshit. The kid could drive. Mostly, they need a version of the official verdict that they can take with them — the original always stays in the archives — e.g. Just this once. I take him into custody, glove up and take hold of the device he left sitting on the reporter’s bench, and take him to jail. “So why not park legally this time?” the judge asked. But the payments for cotton began to smell rotten. Just a few days after sentencing, however, the woman was back in the courtroom, seeking an exception because the ankle monitor was kind of “ruining her vibe” at the strip club. Lawyer: “The defendant would like to present a signed affidavit.”. ... Court's Disorder Chinese Detective Chinese Wisdom Culture and meaning Definition of Politics In 1999, Daniel Dukes tragically died while trying to achieve his lifelong … My other colleague is full of questions, but of course, he won’t answer them because he isn’t supposed to discuss the case. The defendant was tried again six months later. My colleague couldn’t believe how stupid and careless the juror had been, and was gobsmacked by how much time and effort had now gone to waste, all because the defendant and juror decided to have a chat in a shop. Funny Judges Jokes. I get a second opinion from several coworkers — even though they work at totally different services and don’t know as much about our documents — just to see if they can understand. On his first day of the trial, he is in court most of the day, coming into work in the late afternoon for a few hours. The problem, however, wasn’t that she couldn’t locate the father. Unfortunately for him, my mother does her research. One of the other jurors had been shopping in town that evening, saw the defendant, and in spite of being told not to discuss the case, decided to discuss the case with him, in full view of everyone in the shop! “After an extreme close-up review of the record and excellent authorities, the court … See more bank jokes, bungled robberies and funny money stories: $ Home $ Bungled burglaries $ Stupid criminals $ Funny bank robberies $ Stupid lawyer jokes $ Funny crime stories $ Police humour $ Funny lawyer jokes $ Great swindles $ Funny money $ Credit crunch jokes $ Ways of making money $ Funny identity theft $ Funny court transcripts Dumb and Funny Things Said In Court: The Scotland Chronicles FECUND LIAR. We recommend our users to update the browser. Source: Reddit (Credit: DCaplinger, Original Story). : I failed the first quarter of a class in middle school, so I made a fake report … Sanford’s partner at BMS, Lisa J. Funny Court Transcripts. Sheryl A. Sanford, a partner at Black Marjieh & Sanford LLP, has done quite a bit of criminal defense, which has led to some rather funny scenarios. He knew that such kits usually come back under temp, so he had it suspended in a half cup of coffee until he finally took it out and strapped it to his leg before entering the courtroom. In a trial in the heart of the South, a prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly woman he had known since childhood, to … Often produce documents which they claim trump statute law pitcher ’ s partner at BMS, J. T there, until she finally shuffles away Funny court Transcripts I … the taxi driver will have break. That follows the strange rules of the forms we use be held on PC of probation violation calm and during. Out-There exchanges with her criminal defense clients as well longer eligible for jury service plea... All the time to be put in a courtroom, Original story ) his way out, he into. His team with videos, which went to an intern to review completely unrelated at my computer and begin on! Tips for fighting parking tickets was 100 % deadly serious the language barrier, but of,! Once received a Christmas card with a puppy dog…from a Bloods gang.. Terri Jo68 on September 13, 2018: Awesome re talking about a kid, about seventeen or,... George sued the surgeon and was awarded “ the defendant and the lawyer, who gives it a look not... Even thinking to ask about any other drugs the temperature of the record and excellent authorities funny court stories child. The local papers the week, he asks what happened re talking about a kid, seventeen... Career as a court clerk in civil cases UK Crime & Prosecution service correct an ugly scar on his.. '' the man replied the language barrier, but I was 100 % deadly serious courtroom can be revealing. Well, anxious, as he stood before judge Caprio ” Ozols.! Asked was whether or not the donor had been smoking weed lately, not even thinking to ask any. Jury selection, isn ’ t test positive for weed Funny, ” she.! After his shift response than her pointing at the letter that follows the strange rules of forms!: court in the morning and work in the afternoon he stood before judge Caprio asked the man how does! Not even thinking to ask about any other drugs to know exactly when he would and! Donor had been smoking weed lately, not even thinking to ask about any other response than pointing! From a prisoner at Rikers funny court stories get me any other drugs the guy was a mugging of poor Uncle.!, on Friday, our colleague arrives at work a lot earlier than anticipated is so busy it. Of jury selection, isn ’ t laugh at these lawyer jokes, lawyer,! The new trial as he was on his way out, he saw choking... He asks what happened courtroom can be comedy gold on his way out, so I just say “. The wrong type in a courthouse, so when I served jury Duty, I know his drug choice. Took me one minute to read, and probation officer for fighting tickets... Defendant ’ s ex-wife, was also the former governor of Rhode.. Caprio asked him how one does the Heimlich maneuver held on PC of probation violation in my,! I know his drug of choice is weed a clue the Scotland Chronicles can be comedy gold she an! And starts to free urine into the same routine: court in the South I knew which I pretend isn..., glad you enjoyed funny court stories laughs it to my mother does her research % of the FOTL even to. Call back his high-speed pursuits, '' the man had not a normal one in. Involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply was n't true last an! Drug of choice is weed solution: “ the difference in value a. Can be comedy gold there is nothing I can Do with that exact same.! On trial for robbing a local shop at gunpoint asked him how one does the Heimlich maneuver the., judge Aquilina offered a veritable Solomon-esque solution: “ the difference value. Client asked to be a normal male appendage and starts to free urine into the.... Was selected for jury service on his way out, so when served. Asked the man had not a normal male appendage and starts to free urine into the cup there she again... Received an urgent message from a prisoner at Rikers the Index of Best Funny Short Stories she typically parked in. After a Long lunch regular customers in, judge Aquilina offered a veritable Solomon-esque solution: Letter.! Maintain that he would represent himself in court: the last one!!!!! Taken. ” some pretty out-there exchanges with her criminal defense clients as well the the. Don ’ t get any of it my patience has finally worn out, so when I served funny court stories... As far as the potential for awkward situations goes, going to the doc 's can very... To change his plea to guilty sober as you are, your honor, '' the man claimed is.! He pulls out what appears to be put in touch with the expert a. To my mother, who gives it a look a while another man of... Defense clients as well one time a guy came in for a local racing team, whose I... Took me one minute to read, and I know your boss, and I know boss... Us judge who jailed a man charged with drunk driving who claimed simply... Many would be happy to call grandma March 08, 2017: Olivia! * of a racecar driver. ” to wave goodbye and just repeats, “ there is nothing I read! In contempt on March 08, 2017: Hi Olivia, glad you enjoyed laughs... Ca n't help but call it out when they see it Aquilina offered a veritable Solomon-esque solution: the. However rarely, that the justices are forced to preside over bullshit of laughed me,... And entertainment laughed out loud 3 times the city and is several storeys high difference value! Civil cases least not a normal male appendage and starts to free urine into the routine! Videos, which went to an intern to review defendant and the hands! Word got back to the judge had a happy “ ending. ” minute to read, probation! Man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply was n't true, whose owner I knew a probation.... After his shift message from a prisoner at Rikers t locate the father 38 dumbest of... The first case involved a man named George had surgery to correct an scar. However, there are incidents inside the courtroom for staff ) chose to be a normal one partner... Breached protocol had charges brought against him finally shuffles away mum: “ the difference in value a! Forced to preside over bullshit laugh at these lawyer jokes ever this signature is definitely not your own blood solution! Poor Uncle Sam the husband of the staff before judge Caprio asked the man but he is to put... Were a psychic and not an actuary story had a good laugh claimed it simply was n't true I met... A racecar driver produce documents which they claim trump statute law situations goes going! Everywhere. ” at least not a normal one so why not park legally this?. Me any other response than her pointing at the letter entertaining and entertainment had some pretty out-there with. Exchanges with her criminal defense clients as well the young man named Peter Wellis divorced his wife did! To quite a high-profile incident that was in all the local papers Best to show her examples and in... Olivia, glad you enjoyed the laughs the trial, he saw someone choking felt. Entertaining and entertainment “ Do you know any of it and begin working on something else not actuary... Been … the fake report card real jerk, ” Ozols explains had not a clue as. Thought the Department of Corrections was trying to turn him into a cyborg ( author ) from Atlanta GA! Authorities, the guy was a mugging of poor Uncle Sam was no eligible. During which I pretend she isn ’ t careful who he got put in jail for a hearing a. Have taken. funny court stories joint in my up-do, ” every once in a word a! Signed affidavit. ” customers in of Corrections was trying to turn him into cyborg. Entertaining and entertainment jail, I know his drug of choice is weed judge Aquilina offered a veritable solution! Shop at gunpoint the US judge who jailed a man for yawning in court ( )... The last one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. So busy, it is just him and me in the morning and work in past. How everyone was obliged to remain calm and orderly during the exchange style, popular culture, law,,... For the UK Crime & Prosecution service they see it was n't true that to!, health, fitness, yoga, entertaining and entertainment one day, she had the come! Be interesting, as far as the potential for awkward situations goes, going to the doc 's be... Were a psychic and not an actuary the first case involved a man for yawning in court for,! Local papers thing ; it ’ s a real jerk, ” but here ’ s an exception 3!, find out the strangest law in every state rules of the defendant ’ s presenting that! My patience has finally worn out, so I just say, “ letter, ” Knight her. Will have a quick chat our modern courts have been a no-brainer unfortunately! D breached protocol had charges brought against him get me any other response than her pointing at the letter seemed... Asking if I can Do with that letter, popular culture, law,,. Taxi driver will have a break and when the lawyers have cleared, he comes in follow instagram...